Hope you’ve had your fill of the sinful roasted fowl and the damp bread contained within its anus…because Thanksgiving is over and now you simply have to grab deals. Everyone is getting deals — deals from Sears Roebuck, from Toys ‘R’ Us, even from the notoriously stingy shopkeep known as…

Everyone’s fleeing Twitter like it’s the end of the film Lincoln and Lincoln just straight-up died. But what social media app are we all gonna run into, like the theater everyone runs into at the start of the movie Lincoln? First we all tried Mastodon. And how much of a…

So you did it. You finally are about to cry. Maybe you’re crying because the Governor just made porn illegal. Maybe it’s because your favorite show, CBS’ Laughter, just got cancelled. Maybe it’s because your dad gave you one final birthday present before disappearing into the wheat forever. And maybe…

What I need most when I see Dwayne “The John”son kill a man is to have inverted vegetables. When you go to your local dream factory, and say “1 ticket for me to have a dream about two dogs that fall in love,” you know you need a head-sized bucket…

MANHATTAN — As COVID-19 cases surge around the country and hospitals are forced to turn ambulances away, more grim news is on the horizon: Scientists at Disney Plus headquarters have proven unable to contain the strain of Star Wars shows originally developed in 2020, recommending immediate national quarantine. The Novel…

Herewith are the collected works from the live Quibi pilot-writing streams, airing on twitch.tv/bfirenzi during the month of April, 2020. NSFW. Pilot #1: Jimmy Stewart Adventures In which America’s treasure is enlisted by three ghosts to defeat evil. Pilot 2: Worst Breakup Stories A man recounts his worst breakup: Prom night, at his girlfriend’s dad’s house. Pilot 3: Waterwold — The Series The continuing adventures of Kevin Costner’s fish mutant, and his new squire’s trauma.

Starting at 5 PM on November 21st, 2019, I began streaming live on Twitch, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter, and started tapping away in a Final Draft file. I didn’t stop until almost 4 AM the next day. What transpired in between was a war crime, and if you weren’t there…

The internet complained vociferously upon release of the new Sonic the Hedgehog trailer, with thousands of tweets slamming the visual effects — and incredibly, Hollywood has listened to their cries. …

It began innocently enough. A cushy theater seat. A popped bag of corn. An usher telling us the runtime for “Avengers: Endgame” would be three hours. And me shooting a nonstop geyser of urine into the air, right as the usher said “three.” Immediately, security tried to catch me and…