Fabulous Mug
Ok you titanic shitbirds, here’s the last invention of mankind.
We have this mug, all right?
Ok right it is a hippo attack cup. NOT the invention yet. Hang on to your britches for that, these are mere examples to sample.
Another mug that is also an attack:
Bonnnnng. You got ‘raffed. ‘Raffed pretty bad by this mug.
Now you understand how these mugs live to destroy you.
Ok but what no one has sold is mugs of THEMSELVES attacking. A personal touch. Cust-o-mized and personalized. I bring you: The Fabulous Mug.
Just close your eyes, sweep any errant shakras out of your soul to make room for this example illusion, and travel to your inner coffee shop. There, it is the music you like (but of course) and the brew is always a firm brown. You have four outlets for all four of your laptops for all four of your arms and you are writing the next Buddha book. Total serenity in this single-origin Roast Factory.
What a fine cup of joe you’re devouring. Sup sup sup.
Then you are finished with your brown gobble and you have discovered a most peculiar sight:
That is YOUR face peering back at you, streaks of the hot brown speckling and trickling down its supple ceramic cheeks. It is screaming at you for what you have done to it.
All this while, you were too busy writing the next parchment of spirit scriptures to notice you were sitting next to a representation of your own self in the sizzling bean cauldron. And it is enraged at you.
Look at the fury. If it could grow arms, it would do one insane pull-up out of the cup and fling itself into your throat. There, it would careen down the unpolished waterslide that is your tongue, find the burbling beanbrown you slurped away from it, and slurp it right back for himself.
How DARE you come into his house, swallow all his furniture, and leave him cold and alone in a crusty cup.
Being surrounded by the hot brown was his shakra, his truth. You shattered his world with your careless vacuum lips.
He will have his vengeance, and soon so can a mug of your own. Let your mug have your exact head and exact its own true slurping revenge inside your liquid sacks.
Bidding will start at 100 friendships
