Rest of Band Just Killing Time Until Singer Finally Decides to Rhyme “Baby” With “Maybe”
HURT LOCKER, NV — Local garage band Subject + Predicate has entered their fourth fruitless hour of band practice today, while lead singer and lyricist Mike Blatter needlessly wastes time on trying to rhyme the word “Baby.”
Notoriously unwilling to accept advice, should their band strike it big and lawyer up to split songwriting credits, Blatter has squirreled himself away inside his parents’ master bath, masterbathing. It is here, he presumes, that inspiration will finally strike and S+P can return to practice before Mom gets home.
Lead guitarist Calvin Chuckles ate Pringles in his Chevy Nova, thinking about Christ. “Jesus Christ,” he exclaimed, over and over, each exhortation of the Lord followed by a crispety crunch of a freshly plucked Pringle. “Jesus Christ. Jesus Jesus Jesus Christ.”
“This is turning into ‘Reason and Season’ all over again,” grumbled bassist Hooter Campbell, referring to their previous band hiatus which lasted four months as Blatter tried finding the words for their still-unfinished song, “Reason for the [To Be Determined at Later Date].”
drummer died who gives a shit the end
